Hello

Hello, my name is Fat Tart although no one except my sister has ever called me a fat tart, to my face at least. I might have named myself Fat Twat but I like the image Tart brings to mind, pastry, sugared fruit etc so Fat Tart it is.

I’ve recently discovered that I’m running toward a cliff edge with a pasty in my hand and I’m very annoyed, annoyed that there is a cliff, angry at the pasty and angry with myself.

I wonder why am I blogging this? Is it a ‘Dear Diary’ situation but where the diary has the potential to answer back? but I don’t know that I’m interested in what you think. Is it a ‘venting’ tool? Well dear reader, I have no clear idea. Perhaps it could be: 1. the internet is so big it’s like shouting from a mountain? 2. Perhaps it’s an open statement of intent? I’ll think about that and let you know, assuming there is a you, otherwise I’ll continue shouting into the void.

I have been fat for over 20 years, steadily getting more so. Lose a bit, gain a bit more, you know how it goes. I would say that all of the time I’ve been fat I would have rather have been thinner than fatter but I have, for the most part, found the idea of less food and more exercise less attractive than the fat. I’ve always said that if my fat arse started to impact on my health I’d lose it….well that time has come.

Later this week I’m off to join a gym, last week I joined ‘fat club’

I’m well educated, I have a responsible job but I’m having to sit in a room of fat twats being told what to eat by an ex fat twat. I’m angry. Some people join these clubs for support but I think it’s the humiliation that will drive the weight loss for me.

Everyone is very friendly, although some are really odd, one, another newcomer, kept trying to look at my info on the joining form. My info is not going to help her fill out her form is it? I put my arm in the way like we were eight years old and she was copying my work. Anyhow, my fellow dieters are mostly very optimistic and mostly not as fat as they once were, both of which are positives.

I joined a ‘fat club’ years ago, I hated it. Strange pitying sympathy oozing from the once fat herself group leader, I wanted to shout ‘I’m fat, not stupid!’ but in retrospect I am clearly retarded regarding issues surrounding food. Happily weight loss clubs have changed. The group leader in my current club is ‘we’re all in this together ish’ no nonsense and I prefer it. She showed undisguised disgust when someone suggested that a Caesar salad was a healthy choice. I wanted to laugh, I probably smiled, I hope Caesar salad woman didn’t think I was mocking her or Caesar salad, it was the passionate horror aimed at a salad dressing that did it.