The importance of being

I know that I self medicate with carbs. Mashed potato is my drug of choice. Mash has seen me through the harshest stuff life has thrown my way. There are days in my working week, when I have to listen to a lot of project proposals and find kind and helpful feed back on them. Many of these proposals have the potential to be utter tripe and for these I require a bag of sweets under the table. People in the know do not opt for pre lunch appointments with me, as the kind element of my helpfulness might be wearing thin before it’s lunch time top up.

Marmalade and I went to the theatre to see The Importance of being Earnest last week. I’d not noticed before but Algernon has the same problem:

Algernon.  If it was my business, I wouldn’t talk about it.  [Begins to eat muffins.]  It is very vulgar to talk about one’s business.  Only people like stock-brokers do that, and then merely at dinner parties.

Jack.  How can you sit there, calmly eating muffins when we are in this horrible trouble, I can’t make out.  You seem to me to be perfectly heartless.

Algernon.  Well, I can’t eat muffins in an agitated manner.  The butter would probably get on my cuffs.  One should always eat muffins quite calmly.  It is the only way to eat them.

Jack.  I say it’s perfectly heartless your eating muffins at all, under the circumstances.

Algernon.  When I am in trouble, eating is the only thing that consoles me.  Indeed, when I am in really great trouble, as any one who knows me intimately will tell you, I refuse everything except food and drink.  At the present moment I am eating muffins because I am unhappy.  Besides, I am particularly fond of muffins.

Thank you Oscar for recognising carb misuse and for underlining it’s comedy value.

I’m really going to have to work on finding a source of low carb kindness as an alternative to mash and sugar, preferably one that doesn’t rely on medication or involve class A drugs either.