Mappa mundi

Self isolating and working from home.

This global outbreak has made my world very small. Apart from early morning foraging for food you’ll probably find me at home.

I unarmed a woman of excess pasta at 8 am yesterday. She had a basket piled full of pasta and a packet in each hand. There was just one pack left on the shelf, I think she was contemplating if she could clamp it between her buttocks. I took the one off the shelf and one out of her hand. I said thank you. She said not a word. Today I made a woman jump when I excitedly shouted, aha, when I found tea, I thought it had sold out but I was looking in the wrong aisle.

Four days in and I’m obviously becoming socially isolated, feral, social niceties are falling away. Thank goodness Cornflake is here too.

I wonder what the future holds.

How long will it be before I stop getting dressed? Stop wearing a bra? Stop wearing makeup? Stop having a bath every morning? Will there be a deodorant shortage? What will happen when our last toilet roll is gone, our last tissue?

Now I’ve mastered Skype, zoom and Microsoft teams I’ll have to keep fairly presentable from the waist up.

Time will tell.