Stars

If Stevie Wonder had met me this last week he may have described me as having been born under an angry star. Even in the presence of Stevie, I’d probably have banged on.

To kick off this rant, I propose that sentences for criminal police officers should be double that of those meted out to the general public. Unlike you and I, who are merely obliged to abide by the law, the police are supposed to uphold it. Their job, if I’m not mistaken, is to protect us from criminals, not be the effing criminals. Yes Oliver Banfield, I’m talking about you in particular. Although it appears that if he had attacked his victim on duty, whilst at a vigil perhaps, maybe one for a murdered woman who was allegedly killed by a police officer, he would not only still have his job but would also not have ended up in court.

Which of course leads me to The Policing Bill.

Another underhand snip at our civil rights by that bastard the johnson and his motley millionaire crew.

I’m anticipating the day when I may need to disseminate my unflattering images and opinions of The Pride of Pfeffel through a secret underground network. A network of angry pensionless pensioners?

What if I get caught?

I wonder where the gulag will be, somewhere out of the way probably. The outer Hebrides is far too picturesque for disappearing malcontents. I doubt Queen Nicola of Scots would allow it anyway. Perhaps they could use the Isle of Man, emptied of it’s citizens and walled up Escape from New York style….

The week has finished on a better note.

Cornflake and I met up with Saucy in the park. We exchanged Xmas gifts. A diary, well there’s still nine months to go and there was nothing to put in it earlier in the year anyway, and a book about shoes. Fabulous.

Saucy wondered if a crowd of around twenty youths kicking a ball about all lived in the same house. We decided that obviously they must. The park was rammed with a veritable mob of social distancers. Cornflake managed to get us a bench. He spotted it at a distance and ran, coffee in hand, ready to tackle anyone else who might have fancied a seat. He worried he might have looked like Joe Biden running for a bus, but to me he looked like a sports star. Hero.

Saucy’s lockdown, on-line dating stories rendered me near hysterical. She also has a new career as a supporting artist, movie star that is. I’m sure she doesn’t live her life solely for my amusement but the lols are a welcome by-product.

Thanks peeps.