Greetings

Life was simpler greetings wise during lockdown, don’t touch, keep your mask on.

Pre COVID I had been a long term, one cheek kiss, greeter. Two cheeks was too much in my opinion, but I would if the greetee went that way. I’ve only got confused direction wise on a couple of occasions, resulting in near inappropriate snog situations.

I was comfortable with a handshake if a hand, rather than cheek, was offered. I was happy to hug.

Now, under less strict rules, people have different preferences of minimal contact greeting styles, the elbow bump, the prayer stance (or silent clap), the small bow.

I could potentially go for a multiple clap option if it were on offer, a socially distanced air kiss might do.

I don’t mind, whatever.

Honestly though, a simple hello works for me.

PS.

Its just come to the world’s attention that Matt Hand-Cock-Arse-Wipe had not given the COVID greeting subject thorough consideration. If he had he may not have got confused regarding his marital status, his managerial responsibilities and his firm stance regarding contact between colleagues in the work place during lockdown.

So Matt, a word in your ear: A tongue to tonsils, hand to arse crack approach to greeting staff, at work, under your own strict social distancing rules, will inevitably lead to trouble. In fact, you can remove the bit of that sentence that refers to social distancing, and the advice is still valid.

You’re welcome.