Hello

Chapter One…..Introductions

Hello, my name is Fat Tart although no one except my sister has ever called me a fat tart….to my face at least. I could have named myself Fat Twat but I like the image Tart brings to mind, pastry, sugared fruit etc so Fat Tart it is.

I’ve recently discovered that I’m running toward a cliff edge with a pasty in my hand and I’m very annoyed. Angry at the cliff, angry at the pasty and angry with myself.

If you’re reading this, don’t expect soul searching, I’m unfashionably uninterested in why I’m this way and more interested in what the fuck I do about it now. Oh, and I have a real potty mouth so don’t read on if you’re easily offended.

I wonder why am I blogging this? I’m thinking it’s a ‘Dear Diary’ situation but where the diary has the potential to answer back…but Dear Diary I don’t know that I’m interested in what you think. So why make it visible when I see this as a ‘venting’ tool? No idea; the internet is so big it’s like shouting from a mountain? Perhaps it’s an open statement of intent? I’ll think about that and let you know, assuming there is a you, otherwise I’ll continue shouting into the void.

I have been fat for over 20 years or so, steadily getting more so.

Lose a bit, gain a bit more, you know how it goes. I would say that all of the time I’ve been fat I would have rather been thinner than fatter but I have, for the most part, found the idea of less food and more exercise less attractive than the fat. Obviously I’ve been aware that excess weight carries health risks and I’ve always said that if my fat arse started to impact on my health I’d lose it….well that time has come.

Later this week I’m off to join a gym, last week I joined Weight Watchers.

Chapter Two….The humiliation!

I’m well educated, I have a responsible job but I’m having to sit in a room of fat twats being told what to eat by an ex fat twat. I’m angry.

Hell for overeaters, that’s what it is. Punishment.

Everyone is very friendly….actually, some are really odd, one, another newcomer, kept trying to look at my info on the joining form. My info is not going to help her fill out her form is it? I put my arm in the way like we were eight years old and she was copying my work, Anyhow, they are mostly very optimistic and mostly not as fat as they once were, both of which are positives.

I joined Weight Watchers years ago, I hated it. Condescending bastards! All excessive sympathy delivered with their head on one side. I wanted to shout ‘I’m fat, not stupid!’ but in retrospect I am probably retarded regarding issues surrounding food.

Times have changed. The group leader is more ‘we’re all in this together ish’ no nonsense. I prefer it. She showed undisguised disgust when someone suggested that a Caesar salad was a healthy choice. I wanted to laugh, I probably smiled, I hope Caesar salad woman didn’t think I was mocking her or Caesar salad, it was the passionate horror aimed at a salad dressing that did it.