My unholy trinity of weight gain

My father, who had a very active job had a policy for down time; don’t stand if you can sit, don’t sit if you can lie down. He could make a pavement look as comfy as a feather bed and I learnt this lesson well.

Some years ago, sitting on a bench, not standing, while waiting for a friend, I saw a crocodile of school children. Aged about 6, holding hands, they were every shape, tall thin ones and short wide ones, none of them were fat, none malnourished, they were just the shape they were. It occurred to me that soon the girls would all probably want to be a size 10 and really that just wasn’t on the cards for most of them and I was sad.

On my father’s side of the family the women when young, are small breasted, tiny in the waist, big bottomed and chunky in the leg. Soon after the age of twenty five they are large in all areas. On my mother’s side, the women when young are large breasted, tiny waisted, narrow hipped with thin muscular legs. Much past the age of twenty five they are big, really big, one of my Mum’s Aunts was a masseuse, to royalty no less, she was big, muscular and not just a little scary. It seemed unfair to my sister and I that we got all the bigger body parts on offer, bust, bottom and legs. We have discussed at length the possibility of a sister with all the smaller elements, small busted, slim hipped with thin legs. On the upside she wouldn’t get to borrow clothes and not return them but we concluded that, had she existed, we might have had to kill her, forgetting of course that genetically she, like us, would very likely inflate frighteningly around the age of thirty.

My recent road trip took me to Scotland to visit family and friends. I have a lot of family up that way and when I visit I see them in batches. My brother and his wife host family buffet meals. Amongst other tasty offerings we had potatoes, three ways, potatoes three ways because not everyone likes potato salad or new potatoes or chips, but actually we all like them all ways and all have some of each because who can resist? The joy of the food, the hospitality and the company makes for an evening of entertainment, an entertainment in which we can all partake and enjoy.

Here in three short paragraphs I have named my unholy trinity of fat hood; genetics, the joy of food as entertainment and inactivity.

My sister has recently lost lots of weight, slowly and surely. She used to often say about gorgeous young women, ‘if I had a body like that!’ and I’d say ‘you had one and look what you did to it’ and we’d groan at the truth of it, but now she’s undoing it, she is proof that the consequences of overeating can be reversed and we can thumb our noses at genetics and even take up running.

We talked about dieting in Scotland and my sister in law, a niece and a great niece are going to join a fat club this week. They were very excited about potential weight loss. I hope we all knuckle down to it and I also hope no one shouts ‘who fancies fish and chips round at mine?’ because the chances are we all would if it meant a good natter, sofa time and potentially cake and ice cream for dessert.