Sun kissed

We are all aware of the dangers of sunbathing and the negative long term effects that sun exposure has on skin; it ages it by depleting collagen, speeding wrinkles, leaving possibly charming freckles and always unattractive liver spots. It can damage your eyes and is apparently responsible for 80% of skin cancers.

A nice healthy glow.

The advice given by those who know is, cover up, wear sunglasses, use a high factor sun cream. All easy, all readily available, and most folks are game but it’s so easy to slip up.

What is it they say about, the best laid schemes of mice and men?

Let’s put aside the long term horrors of sun damage for the moment and ask, what is the immediate consequence of not practicing mindful sunbathing?

A twat tan, that’s what you’ll get, and no one wants a that.

For those of you who are unfamiliar with the term, it may be West Country specific, a twat tan is not a tanned twat, or a tan in the shape of a twat, but rather a tan that makes you look like a twat, an idiot that is. It is usually misshapen, uneven and almost guaranteed indelible for the entire summer.

Hot spots for getting a T tan are; outside the pub after work for a quick drink, then another quick drink because the weather is so good and this is England so best make the most of it. The park at lunch time because the weather is fabulous and this is England and it’ll probably rain tomorrow. A Cornish cliff top walk on a cloudy day in July because UV is a sneaky bastard.

So take care people, you don’t want skin cancer and you definitely don’t want to risk looking like an idiot.